venerdì 8 agosto 2014

TRUE MEANING OF MALE STATEMENTS


Statement: "I'm a Romantic."
True Meaning: "I'm poor."

Statement: "You're the only girl I've ever cared about."
True Meaning: "You are the only girl who hasn't rejected me."

Statement: "I really want to get to know you better."
True Meaning: "So I can tell my friends about it."

Statement: "She's kinda cute."
True Meaning: "I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the
head might be necessary."

Statement: "I don't know if I like her."
True Meaning: "She won't sleep with me."

Statement: "Was it good for you?"
True Meaning: "I'm insecure about my manhood."


Statement: "I had a wonderful time last night."
True Meaning: "Who are you?"

Statement: "Do you love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you might find out."

Statement: "Do you 'really' love me?"
True Meaning: "I've done something stupid and you're going to find
out sooner or later."

Statement: "How much do you love me?"

True Meaning: "I've done something really stupid and someone's on
their way to tell you by now."

Statement: "I have something to tell you."
True Meaning: "Get tested."


Statement: "I've been thinking a lot."
True Meaning: "You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."

Statement: "I think we should just be friends."

 True Meaning: "You're ugly."

Statement: "I've learned a lot from you."

 True Meaning: "Next!!!!"

Statement: "I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?" True Meaning: "I gotta turn on my answering machine.

 

domenica 6 luglio 2014

WHAT LOVE IS ?

The definition of love has challenged and perplexed thinkers and lovers since the beginning of time. Cogent explanations follow below.
 One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.
 Attention is the most basic form of love; through it we bless and are blessed.
We love because it's the only true adventure.
  Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away.
 Love is friendship set on fire.
 Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.
 To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
 Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk everything, you risk even more.
 Sometimes love is stronger than a man's convictions.
 Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.
Maybe love is like luck. You have to go all the way to find it.
Love stretches your heart and makes you big inside.
 Love has no awareness of merit or demerit; it has no scale... Love loves; this is its nature.
Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.
 Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.
 Where love is, no room is too small.
Loves makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place.
Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
 True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart.
Love is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day.
 To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
A love song is just a caress set to music.
Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever.
Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.
In the final analysis, love is the only reflection of man's worth.
Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
We're all a little weird, and life's a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.
 To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.







sabato 5 luglio 2014

IS GOOD TO BE A MAN








. 1 - You keep your good mood all month.
. 2 - Drivers do not make you stupid.
. 3 - Do not carry around a bag full of shit.
. 4 - You're not stealing from hairdresser.
. 5 - You're perpendicular if nobody notice your new haircut.
. 6 - When interviewing for a job your body does not matter.
. 7 - If you criticize the work, not think everyone secretly hate you.
. 8 - No-one of the colleagues he has the ability to make you cry.

. 9 - lingerie cost you 50,000 instead of 500,000.
10. - Three pairs of shoes are enough.
. 11 - Arrangements for the wedding resolve themselves.
12. - Wedding Apparel: 3,000,000 instead of 9,000,000

13. - I keep surnames life.
14. - Honeymoon or vacation you need one bag.
15. - You're bathing and you're ready IN10 minutes.
16. - You walked in white shirt with places where you can wet.
17. - Everything on your face stays the same color
18. - Do not have to shave below the throat.
19. - You can leave the hotel bed spread good conscience.
20. - Gray hair and wrinkles you are good.
21. - Can participate in a burping contest without Shame.
22. - You can say anything without caring about what the world thinks.
23. - Can be Referee, Popa, President.
24. - You can walk in the evening with the car.
25. - You can forget a birthday or make other mistakes, flowers will arrange everything.
26. - Can you sit with your legs apart, so what!
27. - Go to the bathroom alone, not in pairs or in groups
28. - Toilet queues are 80% more rare
29. - No need to stop at the next gas station because "it's too dirty toilet"
30. - Can you admire Bruce Willis without starving to look like him.
31. - Luis Miguel, Ricky Martin, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and others are not part of your universe; there are only a handful of fagots.
32. - No need to clean the apartment every time someone comes.
. 32 - You know at least 20 options to open a beer.
33. - You can rationalize any phrase with a simple "yes-a in p .. m .."
34. - No need to monitor your friends sex lives.
35. - You go to visit a friend without them going a gift.
36. - Phone calls with friends takes less than 60 seconds.

37. - If you call a friend when you said you do, it will not comment other that you've changed.

38. - You can watch TV for hours with a friend, quietly, without thinking: "Does it upset me?"
39. - If someone forgets to invite you to an event, continue to be your friend

40. - If someone goes to a party with a sweater like yours, do not mind.
41. - If you're 34 and you're not married, your friends do not care, on the contrary, I congratulate you.
42. - Your friends do not care if you're weak or you gained.
43. - Do not care if some people talk behind you.
44. - No need to thank your kids eating only debris.
45. - You can scratch my crotch at any time of day.
46. - If it's hot you can open your shirt without problems.
47. - With 400 million sperm every "game", you could double the earth's population ... at least in theory.
48. - Can be a father day if you want, without having to wait nine months.
49. - No offense as the best friend of yours has other friends
50. - BUT .... compared to a woman .... you sexualmente WEAK!

 

WHAT A MAN IS

A real man is an epitome of strength, valor, and courage. Man is supposed to be the physically stronger gender. But a real man is emotionally and psychologically strong too. A real man never lets emotions get the better of him and responsibly carries out his duties as the family’s caretaker and breadwinner.
Frailty is the word linked with a woman while mental and physical toughness is linked with men. A real man is powerful and internally and keeps a lid on his emotions. A real man never gives in or succumbs when the tides are down. He fights all his life’s battles valiantly and never loses sight of his goal.
Strength of character is what characterizes a real man and eventually, success does dance at his feet some day. A real man goes a long way to achieve his goals and ends up being an achiever and performer.

 The Man becomes a part of your every day life the very minute you leave college, and lets be honest, as opposed to smiling and shaking hands with the dean while accepting your diploma on graduation day, you should have simply been kicked in the balls.  

But he did begin to emerge even during those blessed college days, with words like internship, resume and the "real world."  "This will look great on my resume!" Don't fool yourself, the resume is a creation of The Man. I mean what is a resume?  Your name and a list of your achievements ranging from school to job experience, or is it a list of failures considering your still looking for something new.  How much can you tell about a person by one single sheet paper and a cover letter talking about you and your five-year plan.

He is also responsible for the cubicle, a confined space with no windows, a jail cell where the time you serve is between the hours of 9 and 5.  Let's not forget the time you have to spend in traffic, or mentally winding down from your day at "work."

Perhaps I am getting a little too ahead of myself, before we attempt to define The Man's many creations, it is important to establish how he functions.  You must understand that the man is behind most everything in life with the sole goal of holding you back and bringing you down.  In today's fast paced and money driven society it is becoming more and more challenging to defy The Man.  You see The Man needs you more than you think, in order for The Man to continue to function he needs you to work, to vacation, to date, to eat, to watch T.V., to drive, etc. (the list continues forever).  I know what your saying, these are things everyone does... that is the catch, you do all of these things on The Mans watch.  He decides when you do just about everything.  You work from 9 - 5, you sit in traffic or metro lines before and after, you vacation 2 out of 52 possible weeks, you eat during your lunch break, you date and go out after work. 

The few who have successfully defied the Man do many of the same things as everyone else, but they do it whenever and wherever they want.  Who are these people you ask? People who chose an alternative lifestyle free of rush hour, cubicles, conference calls, and performance reviews.  People who decided that life is too short to compete in the rat race for essentially a life of climbing up the corporate food chain in order to improve on ones lifestyle through title and material possession.  Those who have successfully defied the man live their lives in many different ways, some chase a dream that wouldn't be possible to achieve while working a normal job, others risk everything to build something great, and others simply explore some of the amazing places and things life has to offer that one cant see behind a computer screen.

I hope the above information hasn't discouraged you; it is not intended to do so.  We simply realize that for the majority of us The Man will continue to play a major role in each and every one of our lives.  This website is intended to provide all of us with a sanctuary free of The Mans day to day efforts to hold us back.  A forum designed to post, present, and discuss anything of funny and valuable substance to help us understand the many ways The Man works.  So please feel free to contribute to Ftheman.com, after all it is a website dedicated to you, the common working man.
 











MAN

Man is only a reed, the weakest thing in nature; but he is a thinking reed
 Man is the measure of all things
Man is heaven's masterpiece
 The more I see of men, the better I like dogs
 There are many wonderful things, and nothing is more wonderful than man
Man is a noble animal, splendid in ashes, and pompous in the grave
Man is an embodied paradox, a bundle of contradictions
 Man has but three events in his life: to be born, to live, and to die. He is not conscious of his birth, he suffers at his death and he forgets to live
 The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence and obsolescence
 Man is a useless passion
 Glory to Man in the highest! for Man is the master of things
 I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability
 What a piece of work is man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form, in moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals!
Man is nature's sole mistake
Man is something to be surpassed
 The human race, to which so many of my readers belong
Man was formed for society
 Man: an animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be
Men are but children of a larger growth
Man, became man through work, who stepped out of the animal kingdom as transformer of the natural into the artificial, who became therefore the magician
Men play the game, women know the score
The best of men are but men at best





WOMAN

"She floats, she hesitates; in a word, she's a woman"
 "The meaning of what it is to be a woman has never been more open-ended and therefore more filled with anxiety"
"Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size"
  "The individual woman is required ... a thousand times a day to choose either to accept her appointed role and thereby rescue her good disposition out of the wreckage of her self-respect, or else follow an independent line of behavior and rescue her self-respect out of the wreckage of her good disposition"  
 "When a woman behaves like a man why doesn't she behave like a nice man?"
 "The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is `What does a woman want?'"
"A woman can look both moral and exciting - if she also looks as if it was quite a struggle"
 "I think being a woman is like being Irish ... Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same"
"Fickle and changeable always is woman"
"A man is as old as he's feeling,A woman as old as she looks
"Men play the game, women know the score"
"A complete woman is probably not a very admirable creature. She is manipulative, uses other people to get her own way, and works within whatever system she is in"
"The prime truth of woman, the universal mother...that if a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly
One is not born a woman; one becomes one
 Woman was God's second blunder"
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women it is merely a good excuse not to play football
The greatest glory of a woman is to be least talked about by men
 A woman seldom writes her mind but in her postscrip
 A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle
 Frailty, thy name is woman!
 Men, at most, differ as Heaven and earth,But women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell
 A woman, especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can
 A woman's place is in the wrong
 I expect that woman will be the last thing civilized by man
 A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands equal rights with men. A woman who is intelligent does not
 Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult
 I hate women because they always know where things are
Most women are not as young as they are painted
 She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression
 A woman knows enough if she knows enough to mend our shirts and cook us a steak
 Man has his will; but woman has her way
 All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his
 When women go wrong, men go right after them
 Women - one half of the human race at least - care fifty times more for a marriage than a ministry
 Women can't forgive failure
 Women, then, are only children of a larger growth
 Can anything be more absurd than keeping women in a state of ignorance, and yet so vehemently to insist on their resisting temptation?
 Women are really much nicer than men: no wonder we like them
 Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke
 There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, suffer for her, or turn her into literature
 If all men are born free, how is it that all women are born slaves?
 Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame for anything
 O fairest of creation, last and bestOf all God's works
 Music and women I cannot but give way to, whatever my business is
 A woman's place is in the home
 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
 A woman's work is never done





venerdì 4 luglio 2014

WHAT A WOMAN IS ...










She is a heavenly rose earthly life.
She ... is prey man is his undoing, is all that he is and wants to have his denial and his reason for being.
She is the driving force of life. The man is only the ignition key.

Women are our nannies in childhood, our companions at the time of maturity, our support in old age, our consolation in misfortune and our victims at all times.
Woman by her physical beauty and moral life is the great stimulant for normal man, painter, sculptor, musician, poet, philosopher and scientist, as and when they would be being shook hands all nine Muses, daughters of Zeus and the goddess Mnemosina.
Woman: Angel you close your eyes, the devil when he opens his mouth.
She is season. There is a season changer that takes many faces. She is a steadfast season. It is being able to bear the scorching sun in the middle of summer days, cold winter nights, landslides of autumn. When love, she knows her subject.

She is a big baby that I amuse with toy sleep him with praise and seduce him with promises.
The woman - a trap of nature.
She is the essence of all natural beauty!
She is a silky victory over biology.
She is the only gift that wraps alone.
She is a stronghold of the male prisoner.
The woman is a slave who must be seated on a throne.
She is a silver plate that we put apples of gold.
She is a camel, which helps us to cross the desert life.
She is the only ocean energy and this energy man can act like the relationship between potential energy and kinetic.
She is thinking beat it - of Heaven sent - it is everything it is creative and invisible work.
The woman - a book that is read more in the dark.